I used to love to have people come stay at my house but something very, very, almost indescribably tragic happened here and now I have to be more careful. I still enjoy having company but I have no choice but to set down certain rules to insure my safety and more importantly, that of my children. If you want to come stay with us, we’d love to have you! It’s important for my children to be exposed to as many different people from all different walks of life and cultures. I want them to experience and embrace as many different people as our house will hold. The global marketplace they will one day enter is so much larger than it was when I was their age and will keep growing.

So come see us - just follow some simple “House Rules.” First, please call or write (or e-mail) my secretary. She’ll need your full name and some other information like how long you plan to stay, who you’ll be bringing with you, etc. She’ll give your information to my security people who will do a background check and make sure that there’s nothing in your past that indicates you might pose a threat to my children and me. Loads of people have already come here after going through this process, and although it may seem extreme to some, we all agree that once they get here, we have a more enjoyable time. We trust each other more when our intentions are made clear.

These are MY rules and they will be ENFORCED. You are not welcome in my home any other way. I promise I’ll have you arrested for trespassing and sent back to your own home. That’s the way it is and I’m sorry if things are bad in your home - I understand why you want to come here but I just refuse to take any more chances.

If you decide to ignore my rules and come anyway, then guess what! I will pay to send your kids to school with my kids. If you or your family gets hurt or sick (I hope you don’t) I will pay for that, too. You can drive my car. I want you to feel like my home is your sanctuary. Feel free to help yourself to my wet bar. I hope you don’t drink too much and then drive my car but if you do, and you happen to get pulled over for DUI, don’t sweat it. You won’t be arrested because I want you to feel safe and welcome while you’re here enjoying your sanctuary in my home. Besides, it’s too much trouble for me to contact proper law enforcement to deal with a person who came here against my wishes but I’ve allowed to stay.

If you get drunk and drive my car and eventually kill one or both of my children, well, that’s unfortunate. I should’ve seen the warning signs and I should’ve been more careful. Maybe I’ll be more careful in the future. Oh, I almost forgot! If you stay here long enough, Roscoe Reynolds wants to further reward you with in-state tuition for college! What a guy!

Isn’t this absurd? Does anyone else feel like I do? Yes. Jeff Evans does and that’s why he has my full support in his bid for a seat in the Virginia Senate. For 24 years, he served us as a Virginia State Trooper and knows full well the importance of having AND ENFORCING laws. It’s laughable that the majority of our law-makers are lawyers themselves. I’d prefer having more people like Jeff, with experience in putting their lives on the line enforcing the laws.

Take this to the bank: Some of the most honorable, upstanding, bravest and wisest people I know are currently in law enforcement or have been. If men or women like Scott White, Marshall Farley, Richard Brown or Darrell Bowling ever seek a seat in the VA General Assembly, regardless of their party affiliation, they also will have my full support.

Vote Jeff Evans. I am.