Madame Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, September 29, 2008:

FAILED BUSH ECONOMIC POLICIES??

Fannie Mae Eases Credit To Aid Mortgage Lending

When the going gets tough, the tough go CAR shopping.  And I am nothing if not tough.

Choosing the right car is difficult.  My (certifiably insane) dad has always maintained that a car is little more than four wheels with the intention to get you from point A to point B.  Au contraire, crazy one.  Since I hang on to my cars longer than I hang on to husbands (my cars are more dependable), finding the right “fit” is crucial.  Considering how much time I spend in a car, buying the wrong one would be like wearing panties that were three sizes too small, backward.  No, I can’t do that to myself.

With my standards (and underwear) firmly in place, I wandered like Goldilocks into the forest of car dealerships.  Some cars were too big.  Others were too small.  A few were too hot.  A bunch were too cold.  Finally, I found the porridge, I mean car that was JUST RIGHT:

Best part?  With 405-horsepower, I’ll never be late again!

I need this car.  I feel entitled to this car, especially because I didn’t read all the paperwork involved.  The salesman says I can afford it and the loan has already been approved.  Only one detail remains: do you and the other taxpayers (the few that are left) mind paying for it?

This morning, while addressing a crowd of his supporters in Norfolk, Virginia, Barack Obama placed his politics above his plans for education reform. His first topic was the lipstick controversy HE created while speaking in Lebanon, Virginia: 

First things first:  It’s not pronounced “LEB-a-non” as in Beirut, Lebanon.  It’s pronounced “LEB-nun.”  My hometown, Richlands, is less than 30 miles from there so take my word for it.  I know the pronunciation as well as I know the people.  I can tell from the reaction of the crowd how they interpreted his “you can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig” comment.  If the crowd misunderstood the meaning of his words, he needs to tell them so.  CALL A SPADE, A SPADE.  (Why didn’t Obama use that simple metaphor, instead?)  It’s perfectly understandable how one could misconstrue the words of this Harvard Law graduate who came to town with stories of pigs and lipstick.  It happens all the time…  What he meant to say was, “John McCain’s economic policy: THAT DOG WON’T HUNT.”  That wouldn’t have created the media buzz, though, so Obama couldn’t play the victim role.

No, instead of clarifying his remarks, the Chosen One has chosen to blame John McCain and Co. for his poor decision to use a poor metaphor.  Today in Norfolk, he admonished the McCain camp and the media, saying the controversy was made-up (think he meant make-up?) and used as “catnip.”  THIS IS THE FISH THAT FELL OUT OF THE FRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK! When Hillary’s campaign complained (correctly) about tactics such as these, Camp Obama indignantly dismissed them as “whining.”  Remember Camp Obama’s “phony outrage” accompanying their charge that Bill Clinton was a racist?  Looks like the three-inch STILETTO IS ON THE OTHER FOOT and Obama doesn’t like it.  In the words of Jeremiah Wright, Obama’s longtime Spiritual Advisor (whatever the hell that is) THE CHICKENS HAVE COME HOME TO ROOST!

In an attempt to exemplify his vision of a clean, issue-oriented campaign, Obama says:

“I love this country too much to let them take over another election with lies and phony outrage and swiftboat politics.”

Who is them?  The same them that Obama claims will try to scare people because he has, in HIS WORDS, a funny-sounding name?  Them is not scaring anyone. Obama is with his constant claims of being victimized.  It’s scary that someone with his education would still feel the need to play the victim card.  More proof that we need education reform?

According to Wikipedia, swiftboat, most accurately refers to the repudiation of a politician’s personal history by people who were present as that history was made. I can see why Obama would have a problem with it.  His own swift boat may come ashore in the next fifty-five days.  I have faith that honorable people won’t be distracted by his claims of victimhood.  After all, there’s still a lot we don’t know about him and we wouldn’t want to BUY A PIG IN A POKE, now would we?

I just spent over an hour writing a post.  When I finished writing and creating hyper-links, I meant to click on the icon to insert a picture but accidentally hit the embed/edit media icon.  The editor went blank.  I left that window open and entered the Site through a different browser, sighed relief when I saw it sitting in “Drafts,” opened the post, AND ONLY THE TITLE IS THERE!!! 

It auto-saves every couple of minutes, right?  Please tell me there’s a “special place” where posts you worked really hard on but hadn’t yet published are saved…

HELP!

and it wouldn’t have mattered, anyway.

Tonight, I am truly awestruck.  …And thankful that, just as I had Margaret Thatcher, my daughter has

Sarah Palin.

One question:  How did this obviously Southern woman come from Alaska?

Mrs. Palin, consider yourself adopted, you Steel Magnolia, you!!

1)  Is my son the father?

2)  Is my dad the father?

3)  Will I have to pay for its birth?

4)  Will it be named after me?

5)  Will I be expected to send a baby gift?

6)  Will I be asked to hostess a baby shower?

7)  Will I be the Godmother?

8)  Will I be expected to remember the birthday and send a card/gift each year?

9)  Will I be invited to its graduation and buy even more presents?

10) Will I be asked to chip in for college expenses?

11) Will the birth of this baby impact my life in any way, whatsoever?

No to the eleventh power so it’s none of my business.  Probably none of yours, either.

(click twice to play)

(Paris Hilton who??)