Because You KNOW John McCain
Barack Obama is the guy you remember from high school. He’s a good-looking, charismatic smooth talker with a bad reputation. His self-worth is measured by his successful conquests … and he hangs with a rough crowd.
Like the guy that will say and do anything to get in your pants, Barack Obama will say and do anything to get in your White House.
The cad from high school had his signature tag lines such as, “If you loved me, you’d let me” and “Don’t believe the silly rumors you hear about me.” In Barack Obama’s case, he flatters you with, “I’m going to wake up every morning thinking about you” and then he plays on your sympathies by claiming that people are saying, “He’s got no money, he doesn’t come from a wealthy family, he’s got no organization, he wasn’t born into a political family, and he’s a black man with this name that folks can’t even pronounce. And it sounds Muslim! So he’s not gonna be able to get through the difficulties of the campaign process.”
He’s the guy whose persistence and determination finally wears down your sensibilities and good judgment. He could’ve asked any girl to be his date at the school dance but he asked YOU! Knowing in your heart that it’s wrong and dangerous, you climb down the rose trellis in your prettiest dress and try to dispel your doubts about him by chanting a mantra in your head of “Have HOPE, he’s CHANGED.”
When he honks his horn in front of your house, you dash across the lawn before your father can chastise him for his bad manners, before your father grabs him by his scrawny neck and informs him that he’s not worthy of you and drags you back in the house. You hop on the back of his barely roadworthy chopper and hold on for dear life as he squeals the tires peeling away from the curb…
In short, Barack Obama is the guy that leaves you crying in your ripped dress and shredded self-respect. You never even made it to the dance…
John McCain is also the guy you remember from high school. The boy that you’d known since the third grade and the one that has harbored an enormous crush on you. You’ve had disagreements and even some fist fights with one another over the years, but when the chips were down, he was the boy you could count on. He’s the one that took you for ice cream and dabbed your tears with his handkerchief when you didn’t make the cheerleader try outs. You took him for granted and sometimes treated him badly but he never gave up on you. He gladly took a black eye or a bloody nose defending your honor.
He’s kinda geeky and a little awkward so he can hardly believe it when you agree to be his prom date. When he shakes your father’s hand, looks your father in the eye and promises to have you home by 11:30, you know he means it because you know John McCain.
